So tonight, I was having a cigarette while sitting in my drive way looking up at the stars. Now I don't know about most smokers but if I'm alone having a cigarette the only thing I do is think. I thought about my life, how its just not really working for me right now. I thought about my dreams. how they just aren't getting fulfilled, how I'm not working toward them at all. I guess that's why I started a blog. A simple step to try and fulfill one of my many many dreams. So here it is. This blog is just going to run you down the simple things and occurrences of my life. I have so many ideas running through my head, so many thoughts, that I think it would be a total waste not to write them down. So each night, hopefully, I am going to write you a little something about me, about my life, about my day. I don't know who is going to read this, and I don't know if this is going to help me get out of the fake little shell that I put myself into. But who knows right? Maybe it will help me get back on track. Maybe it will help someone else get back on track. But for tonight, I'm going to give you a little history lesson of the past few months of my life and how crazy unlucky the road has been.
So I'm a student at Old Dominion University, at least I used to be. I was studying for a major in partying and a minor in women... seriously. See I always told myself that I would go to class at the beginning of each semester. But no, after a couple weeks I would just give up. I had so much more satisfaction partying, interacting with other people and, frankly, going utterly crazy. During my first semester I pledged a fraternity, haha yes my first stop on my highway to dropping out. This pretty much introduced me to the life of partying and not giving a rats ass. After a slew of drunken black out nights and questionable decisions I got to sophomore year. Now let me just clarify, I do not mean credit wise, I just mean year wise. I decided to basically con my folks into helping me rent a place on the party street at the ODU campus. I did this with a group of four other guys that were also members of my fraternity. So it was a glorified bachelors pad. We spent all summer drinking the nights away, listening to music and playing beer pong with our close friends. After awhile I realized that throwing parties could be a nice little investment. I take out money from my own pocket and buy kegs, liquor, etc. After that I would charge each guy 5 dollars and the ladies were free, of coarse :). Now I could double, even some nights triple, my money so I had a nice little gig going for me. The Norfolk and Old Dominion Police didn't think so though. Over the next couple months I accumulated three charges of underage possession of alcohol, one charge of obstruction of justice, and another civil charge of disorderly house. This led to 150 hours of community service, ASAP class, and a whole semester of living with my parents at my house up north. Talk about buzz kill. So for drinking a few beers in college, well sorry okay over 1000 in a two year span, I got my ass kicked my the po po. Haha looking back I guess i kind of deserved it. Well after living at home for a couple months I got a nice little call from one of my roommates saying there is an arrest warrant out for me. I was so confused, for the first time in FOREVER I was abiding my the law. I got a little information and supposedly I obstructed justice thousands of miles away while eating a nice dinner at a local country club with my family. At this point I barely go out, the girl that I was kind of seeing fell out of contact for reasons I still don't understand and life in general was just not throwing me a bone.
Today McDonald's wasn't selling McFlurrys on the hottest day of the year so far.
I mean really life just hasn't been throwing me a bone.
So again, back to me sitting on the driveway smoking my cigarette. I just looked up at the sky. I thought to my self, who else is looking up at the sky. Is there a rock star? How about a writer? A lyricist? A poet? What about a guy that knows he has a girl that loves him? A guy who knows his parents trust him?
I feel so old and so close to my dreams, but then again, so far.
I know this is probably not going to get read, who knows, but for tonight, goodnight.
So I'm a student at Old Dominion University, at least I used to be. I was studying for a major in partying and a minor in women... seriously. See I always told myself that I would go to class at the beginning of each semester. But no, after a couple weeks I would just give up. I had so much more satisfaction partying, interacting with other people and, frankly, going utterly crazy. During my first semester I pledged a fraternity, haha yes my first stop on my highway to dropping out. This pretty much introduced me to the life of partying and not giving a rats ass. After a slew of drunken black out nights and questionable decisions I got to sophomore year. Now let me just clarify, I do not mean credit wise, I just mean year wise. I decided to basically con my folks into helping me rent a place on the party street at the ODU campus. I did this with a group of four other guys that were also members of my fraternity. So it was a glorified bachelors pad. We spent all summer drinking the nights away, listening to music and playing beer pong with our close friends. After awhile I realized that throwing parties could be a nice little investment. I take out money from my own pocket and buy kegs, liquor, etc. After that I would charge each guy 5 dollars and the ladies were free, of coarse :). Now I could double, even some nights triple, my money so I had a nice little gig going for me. The Norfolk and Old Dominion Police didn't think so though. Over the next couple months I accumulated three charges of underage possession of alcohol, one charge of obstruction of justice, and another civil charge of disorderly house. This led to 150 hours of community service, ASAP class, and a whole semester of living with my parents at my house up north. Talk about buzz kill. So for drinking a few beers in college, well sorry okay over 1000 in a two year span, I got my ass kicked my the po po. Haha looking back I guess i kind of deserved it. Well after living at home for a couple months I got a nice little call from one of my roommates saying there is an arrest warrant out for me. I was so confused, for the first time in FOREVER I was abiding my the law. I got a little information and supposedly I obstructed justice thousands of miles away while eating a nice dinner at a local country club with my family. At this point I barely go out, the girl that I was kind of seeing fell out of contact for reasons I still don't understand and life in general was just not throwing me a bone.
Today McDonald's wasn't selling McFlurrys on the hottest day of the year so far.
I mean really life just hasn't been throwing me a bone.
So again, back to me sitting on the driveway smoking my cigarette. I just looked up at the sky. I thought to my self, who else is looking up at the sky. Is there a rock star? How about a writer? A lyricist? A poet? What about a guy that knows he has a girl that loves him? A guy who knows his parents trust him?
I feel so old and so close to my dreams, but then again, so far.
I know this is probably not going to get read, who knows, but for tonight, goodnight.
"Now I don't know about most smokers but if I'm alone having a cigarette the only thing I do is think. I thought about my life, how its just not really working for me right now."
ReplyDeleteGreat to hear that someone else makes that too! Always im sitting in my balcony alone and smoking im thinking. I think a little bit same way as you think.
Sorry i just wanted to say something to you, nice blog :]