Haven't Felt Like That in a Long Time

I love catching up with people I haven't seen in a long time. It's probably one of my favorite things ever. I get to see what they have been up to, their achievements and their aspirations. Cheerleaders turning into graphics designers, soccer players turning into business executives. One of my friends is studying to be a pilot in the Air Force, in a couple years he's going to be flying two tons of steel going the speed of sound. I think that's amazing.

I was talking to my cousin today and she brought up a good idea to write about. I was more into how it fits into most relationships that exist. It is how girls go for older guys, and guys go for younger girls. Why is that? I personally never thought about it quite like I am now. Eighty percent of the girls that I have interacted with on an intimate level were younger than me. For me personally, I think it was a concept of intimidation. Girls younger than me, in my mind, knew less then me, and I felt superior. I know now that this thought it flawed but at the time its my best guess why I did it. That and compatibility. I, personally, am quite immature. So dealing with less mature girls who wanted less in a serious relationship was easier, and more compatible.

But looking back on it, I had more fun and learned more about relationship in a overall view while dating older girls. One in particular turned my thinking around completely. I changed from thing in a high school perspective to a college perspective. I really appreciated her, more than I think she knew. We don't talk anymore but if we did, I would like to tell her how much she actually meant to me, and how she changed how I view relationships.

Her being older and me being younger helped me understand that it wasn't just about the pictures on Facebook of us kissing, and the way people called us cute when we held hands. We spent many hours together over the summer, spent nights together. I remember meeting her, it was quite possibly the best way to meet a girl.

We were at a party and are eyes caught each other. She looked gorgeous and I knew she was older, pretty much guaranteed that I didn't have a chance. I love when I'm wrong. She walked up and initiated the conversation. She continued to call me cute and give me a kiss. I proved my age with my university ID and the rest of the night was a combination of random kisses and getting to know each other.

This lead to a relationship that was amazing, but ended swiftly.

I believe that I grew the most with a girl older than me. She put me in my place and that was something that no other girl could, or would ever do. And I loved it.

I don't know why younger girls go for older guys. I don't know why older guys go for younger girls. I know that for a long time I limited myself to younger girls. For now I'm just looking at compatibility, and that feeling you get when you talk to them. The feeling that you just don't want time to go on, and you want to stay in that moment forever.

Haven't felt like that in a long time.

But for tonight, goodnight