Hm About That Smile of Yours

So I tried to buy suspenders today. I don't know why I'm telling you this but I just saw someone rocking suspenders and decided I wanted to get some. I think I could rock suspenders.

Every night that I don't know what to write about I go sit in my thinking spot. My room is on the second floor of my house and the window that faces the street opens up to a nice platform. I started using this to smoke cigarettes in the middle of the night since I'm lacking in trust with my parents and they feel the need to have chimes on the doors at all times.

I don't think I have snuck out for my house since 11th grade.

I'm going to take a quick break at what I was writing about to explain how I just looked up if "snuck" was a word, and it isn't. I didn't know that. I've been using "snuck" my entire life and now there is a red line under it saying its wrong. Well I'm going to defy Mr. Webster and use it, I'm just that bad ass.

So back to my thinking place, I love it. I sit out looking over my quiet suburban road and just listen to the sounds of peace. The distance sounds of cars driving at speeds well over the legal limit less than a mile away, the occasional siren, the sort of sizzling sounds of my cigarette burning down.

I understand why people look down at smoking, there is literally no good that comes out of it. Do I enjoy people telling me its going to kill me? No, trust me I know. But I enjoy it, I find it kind of poetic at the same time. Just the small things. Like when you driving at sunset, looking straight into the sun. There's a cigarette in your mouth and the music playing. You blow out the smoke and it hits your wind shield and spreads and spreads until there is a thin layer of  smoke between you and the road. Eventually, its disappears.

I don't know call me crazy but I think that looks cool. No I don't mean that act of smoking like "Hey look at me with a cigarette in my mouth, I'm just such a rebel." I mean the way the smoke hits the windshield. Maybe this is just the addiction talking.

I was cursed with an extremely addictive personality.

I was blessed with impressive will power.

I even myself out.

So I'm sitting on the roof, thinking. What should I write about tonight? I'm still stuck in the same old drama and the same old feelings that I felt and wrote about yesterday.

Why do girls tend to look at me more when I'm with another girl. I walked the mall today with a friend, who happens to be a female and I swear I got looks left and right. I know that if I saw a girl with a guy I go to the conclusion that they are most likely together, so the chances of me actually having a shot with her at that exact moment are quite slim, so whats the point in the smile.

Hell maybe that's my soul mate. I mean you never know. That could be the love of my life. So whats the harm in a smile, to catch her eye. From now on, as a single guy living in a heavily populated area with extremely attractive girls, I'm going to smile at everyone of you.

I think I've got a nice smile :)

For tonight, goodnight.