Hello I'm Cam and I'm An Attention Whore

As I grow up, day by day, I look back at the things I used to do and the person I used to be. I'm a totally different person than I was when I was in seventh grade, than I was as a freshman, a senior. I'm completely different than when I started college.

I always wondered when things changed though. The exact point when my family stopped thinking of me one way and started thinking of me a different way. When did I go to a family gathering and was considered the cute, rambunctious kid that was shy, even to his cousins. When did that turn to the guy that people look at now. I would try and explain what people see me as, but I think I would fail. People see me differently than I see myself, even my family.

One thing always stayed the same though, I've always loved attention.

I think that's the same for everybody though. People have friends for attention, in some ways. People add pictures to their social profiles, be it Facebook or Myspace. People comment each other saying how gorgeous they are, even if they look hideous. Why? So people would comment you back saying how great you look when in reality they could think your quite disgusting.

I love attention, I won't deny it. I love seeing that I have comments or messages. I get bummed when the message isn't directed toward me but to a group of people, like a group. I think most people do. I post pictures of my new clothes and my new hairstyles to receive some kind of gratification that it looks good, even if its subconscious to me. What other reason would it be? If I just wanted to show someone who I am, my physical features, I would keep one picture up, not eighty something.

So I created an account on this site called Formspring. If your not familiar with it, it is a way for people to ask you questions anonymously. Hey just another way for me to interact with people, why not? As I started getting questions I realized most could fit under two categories.

Half are complete haters.
  

"your kind of gross and disgusting what you do to girls. why do you use them? pick some1."

"why did you act like such a tool in class at odu?? i know you are nicer than that"

"did you grow out your hair? its gross."

"camron is retarded all you dumb girls need to get that thru ur head"

"you are a f**king prick"

Half of them are quite ... nice.   

"YOUR SEXY"

"soooo hott"

"why wouldnt someone want to f**k camron? i do believe i said f**k in essence meaning idc if he's been with 'a milli' girls"

"CAN WE F**K? SERIOUSLY?" 

"I believe that you have a heart made of gold, but people just don't see it. im just as unappreciated as you are. I hope you find your someone."

You know I get the hater ones but I just don't get the nice ones at all. Now you are probably are going to call me crazy right about now but I'm not keep up with me. Haters just want to get their ideas out there and, frankly, don't have the balls to say it to my face. So i just turn around and treat it like a joke. What else is there to do? Now the nice ones. To all the girls calling me sexy and saying those extremely vulgar things that I won't say I like, but I won't say I don't like :), I do not get you. What am I supposed to do with an anonymous person telling me they like me. Girls if you haven't figured out guys are really bad at signs. We just don't pick them up or give them out as well as you do. So if you think that giving out an anonymous hint is going to help at all, 

your completely wrong. 

If boy likes girl, boy should send girl a note, or ask her out. If girl likes boy, and boy isn't getting the hint. WAVE A FREAKING FLAG IN HIS FACE TILL HE UNDERSTANDS YOU LIKE HIM. I mean if he lets you down and doesn't like you back, that is life. You live you love you learn. But if he just has no clue, don't blame it on him, hes just a guy.

Back to my attention addiction. I think that may be why I'm writing this. I want people to read it, and tell me they like it, or hate it. 

But for tonight, goodnight.