Letter 13 - Someone I Wish Could Forgive Me

A lot of these letters should be to the same person. I could write this to my brother, or my parents. I could write this to many people, but some on the top of my list, are going to be written about, or have been written about. I know many people that I have wronged, and to grab on in particular would be a dishonor to the ones I wouldn't write to. To write to just one would be wrong, I need a lot of forgiveness, I haven't been the best person in many different cases. So I guess I'm sorry.

Dear Everyone,

This could be a letter telling you sorry for everything that I've done, or a beg for forgiveness, but it won't be just that. Do I ask for you forgiveness? Yes, with all my heart, but you know the wrongs I've committed to you, and a list of reasons why I am sorry isn't going to be very productive. More so an explanation to some of the the wrongs I've caused.

My lies, they tend to hurt people. For everyone that I have lied to, big or small, I hope you can forgive me. I lived in a bubble that I created for myself, a reality that I conjured for myself. Somethings I would say would be false, and untrue. It took a lot for me to change that, and I'm still working at it everyday. I believe I have worked it down to just bullshitting about little small things, equivalent to saying that you're at dinner when you're not to a telemarketer. Some people call it a white lie, but its still a lie. The only way to get better is to eliminate it all once and for all. It's much like an alcoholic, just one beer isn't okay for an alcoholic, neither is one lie for me. Like I said, I'm working at it, and it will go away.

Someday my life will be perfect, and there will be no reason to lie. That is what I strive for.

I guess everything that I've done wrong, one way or another, always tie back to how I lied. Mostly to my parents, but also to the girls I've hurt. The girls that see a relationship with me and I string them on until I get bored. It was an awful habit, and trust me, that, more than anything else, has been taken care of. I ask everyone I've hurt, in a romantic manor, for forgiveness.

I'm a flirt, it runs in the family I suppose. I'm sorry for everyone that gets the wrong impression. I don't mean to hurt you, or anyone.

Today I read an email from a girl in my psychology class, she asked if anyone could record the class that she will be missing, and that they would be compensated for it through cash. I responded to the email, said I could do it without compensation. I feel like if I start doing nice things, one by one, maybe my karma will change. I've done so much wrong to people, that I really need to start working on my right. I just hope I still have a chance to prove that I'm not the same person to my friends and the people I love.

To everyone I have lied to, or hurt, I am sorry, and beg for your forgiveness.

Your screw up,
Cam

But for tonight, I'm going to write a couple more.