Letter 15 - The Person I Miss The Most

First off I just like to apologize for how many times that I change the subject of the topic to benefit me. For example when I wrote a letter to my crush, I wrote it to all the girls that I think are attractive, because I really can't focus on one girl I have feelings for right now, she doesn't exist. The person I miss the most, I miss so many people, how can I even think about focusing on one person. So I'm going to do this.

Dear Ex Life,

I miss partying, and freedom. I miss all my college friends that didn't have a care in the world and were brought together for one focus, to have fun. It almost always involved alcohol, and other drugs of sorts, but one common goal, to forget the past week and focus on the next. I miss playing beer pong with my fraternity brothers, listening to our favorite songs over and over again. I miss chilling on my deck with hundreds of other people, knowing that in some sort of way, I got them all together.

I miss long talks, about how life is going to be alright. I miss sitting out in front of my house, watching people walk down the road. I miss seeing my friends every single day, I miss having something to do all the time. I miss the girls, oh how I miss the girls.

Most of all I miss the freedom. I miss being able to have a cigarette at three in the morning, without having to crawl out my window trying not to wake anyone. I miss being able to invite special people over, anytime I wanted, to do certain things. I miss not having to ask anyone if I wanted to go out.

I miss drinking, I miss having a reason to be stupid. I could fall on my face, get up, say I'm fine, and blame it on the booz.  I miss having BAC competitions with my roommates, I miss beating them at BAC competitions. Yes, this means we had a breathalyzer and we competed on who could blow higher. I miss partying, I miss being close to all my friends.

I miss being as skinny as I was.

I know this sounds quite hypocritical of me. Saying I miss all these things. If you didn't know, I quit drinking, and partying. I'm trying to walk the right path for once in my life. That doesn't mean I don't miss it. It kind of means I miss it more.

I'll get my freedom back one day, and I'll party like I used to. Hopefully way more responsibly.

You ex self,
Cam

But for tonight, goodnight