One of the biggest flaws that I have is my ability to blatantly lie to my father. I try to earn his trust, his forgiveness and his acceptance almost everyday. Sometimes I think to myself is it worth it. When he wakes me up from a nap to say did you call your probation officer instead of how was class or how was your day, it really bugs me. I am in no position to ask for anything of my father but its just really hard living to achieve for him.
Sometimes I just want to say screw it and give up. Trust me, I am aware that this is not the best idea. But its just that feeling inside of me that wants to quit, just throw everything out and leave.
Its just a struggle, I'll live. Probably be better for it.
I grew up in the 90s but never really got into music until this new century. If your anything like me you started out with those pop cool bands like Simple Plan and Good Charlotte. This may sound cliche but I literally feel like half those whiny kids singing those songs and complaining about everything wrong in their nice suburban lives. It really sucks to make the realization. I became a whiny kid. I'm going to go play D A and Em in perfect harmony with my whiny voice and put out an album complaining about my Mom, Dad, and other authority figures. Wait, its not 2001 anymore. Gosh darn it.,
I do have some good news, I've made nothing but As at Nova so far. It excites me.
I need a job. Please tell me if you know of any. Maybe I'll work in DC if I get to talking with my cousin. That would be nice.
I'm extremely tired, physically, emotionally. I just need everything to stop. Not because I'm doing a lot everyday, but just the weight all this has over me. It really drags someone down. Add no emotional support from a significant other, or much to look forward to socially. I've learned that it tends to takes a toll on a guy.
But for tonight, goodnight.
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